Patriot Politics

. . . I was all like, well, I just didn’t know what to say, except, ‘Wow, I don’t deserve this,’ and they said, ‘Oh, sure you do.   We’re just so thankful that George Bush is finally out of there.’  And I said, ‘Well, me too!  That’s what we call change you can really believe in.’ So then after I hung up, I just sort of sat there, stunned and thinking, ‘Wow, Michelle is going to be all over this!’ and then the phone rang and it was Bill Ayers, and Bill said, ‘Wow, congratulations, man, any chance you think they’d make it a two-fer and we’d pick up the one for Literature, too?’ and I was like, ‘Wow, that would be the absolute best, wouldn’t it?’ and then Rahm and Dave came in and said, ‘You know we’ve gotta figure out how to drag this Afghanistan thing on a little bit longer now until after you pick up that prize in December.’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, we’ve gotta give that some serious thought.  Hey! Did you see my new orange painting here?  It’s just so . . . I don’t know, it just kind of resonates with me, you know?’ And then Dave said, ‘I’m thinkin’ we oughta put together some kind of thing – maybe another road trip where we could have Oprah and the Mayor along – this would be a nicer outcome than Copenhagen for them, and maybe Ashton and Demi, too, since they made that nice video and all, and they could all come along to Oslo and we’d have a better feeling about Scandinavians and stuff.’  And I was like, ‘Yeah, that would work.  I wonder if it would be cold enough for Michelle to cover her arms there?  I wonder if we could take a side trip in the name of peace and all?’ and then Rahmmy was like, ‘Dammit, now I am going to have to get with Gates again about the war deal.  Maybe I could get Wesley Clark to do that on the QT?  Hillary is just too . . . well, you know.’  And I was like, ‘Oh yeah, Wes would jump on that,’ and then the phone rang and it was the Operator who said, ‘President Carter is on the line, he wants to welcome you to the club,’ and I was all, ‘Take a message, that old racist creeps me out!’  And so then I just sort of looked out the window a little bit and thought, ‘Wow.  This is really it, isn’t it?  Let’s make sure Kanye’s invite to that Oslo road trip gets lost somehow, right?  Yeah.’

3 Responses to “AND SO WHEN THE NOBEL COMMITTEE CALLED . . .”